"some weird things are happening in my desk"

The life of a teacher is nothing if not exciting. It'll keep you on your toes, that is for sure!

The title is an actual quote from a student. He came up to me one day and said, "Mrs. Rhoton. Some weird things are happening in my desk. First, I left all of my pencils in my desk like a good boy, and then my notebook is torn! Somebody or something is messing up all of my stuff!"

Just take a moment to take that one in.

Now just for fun. I thought I'd share some of my other favorite quotes from the past few years. Some are second graders and some are third graders. Maybe you won't think they're amusing. But most days a student says something that either makes me laugh out loud and I write down right away, or it makes me WANT to laugh out loud but I don't want to be rude so I still write it down right away and I laugh about it later.

Student E: "Student A is bothering me!"
Student A: "Student E is bothering me!"
Student M: "A and E fight a lot. They're enemies."
____

Me - "Where did you get your tattoo?"
Student - "King Boo-Fet"   (he meant King Buffet)
____

"Your hair is crazy today." - Student
"This is just my regular hair. I woke up and it looked like this." - Me
"You should have brushed it and curled it. It would have looked prettier."
"You don't think it's pretty?"
"Not really."
____

Girl - "Can I ask you a question?"
Me - "Of course."
"Why do women have bumps on their chest?"
Me thinking **Um....okay....**
"That's part of the female anatomy. Anatomy means your body. So they are just part of their bodies, like fingers, toes, arms, legs, everything."
"Are their called breasts?"
**This is taking a weird turn
"Yes"
"So women have them to look different than men?"
"Well, there are more purposes for them, but you should ask your mom the rest of your questions about this."
**smiles and walks away quickly**
____

Student 1 'telling a joke': "What do you take off before bed?"
Student 2: "Your pearls."
____

Second grader - "Have you seen Sausage Party?"
**Most definitely have not**
____

"Thank you for the chocolate heart! That's so sweet!" - Me
"It's because my mom forgot about you but my brother didn't want his."
____

Student - "Let's use pennies because they make CENTS"
Me - "Oh that's punny!"
*fistbumps student
____

**Another adult is reading a dinosaur PICTURE book to the class**
"A loud grumbling noise echoed through the valley. A huge animal lumbered through. A long, wide tail sings behind it. It had short arms, but a huge head and big sharp teeth! *gasp* What do we think is coming?? [student A]?"
"A dragon!"
"Not quite.."
____

Student 1 - "It's called skydiving."
Student 2 - "It's called being stupid."
____

"Sometimes I feel sad, but most of the time I feel very happy."
____

Non-Spanish speaking student reading a book in Spanish
Me - "I love that you want to read in another language, but do you think reading in Spanish will help you with your reading skills?"
Student - "I can understand it."
Me - Excitedly says the two sentences I know in Spanish
Student - "...Maybe I should being using English."
____

N - "Guess how many inches I am!"
Me - "52 inches"
N - "OH MY GOSH!! You're a genius!! You should go to the genius class and when people ask what their inches is, you should tell them!"
____

Student - "Idioms suck."
____

*Reading book about elections*
Student 1 - "Who is this?"
Me - "That's our former President, Barack Obama."
Student 2 - "He looks old."
Student 1 - "He must be old! He looks like he was alive when I was 1!"
Me - "That was only 7 years ago."
Student 2 - "He was probably 13 years old then."
Me - "..."
____

Student 1 - "I like to eat all parts of deer. Except the fat. That's gross."
Student 2 - "WHY WOULD YOU EAT A DEER???"
Me - "Lots of people eat deer. It's another animal. People eat beef, which comes from cows. People eat pork and bacon which comes from pigs. People eat chicken. It's a different type of meat."
Student 2 - "Well, you got me there.."

saguaros and a desperate plea for a banana

Recently I traveled to the wide open, sunny, full of cactus desert that is called Arizona. Some things I learned:

1. Cactus have way more than two arms. Why are they always drawn with just two arms? It's really misleading.
2. There are SO MANY different types of cactus. 
3. It was embarrassing to realize I know so little about cactus (cacti?).
4. I'm super grateful that I didn't grow up dealing with scorpions--I'll take spiders any day.
5. The desert is flat.
6. If there was a place that always had the weather that Arizona has in November it would be full of the happiest people because the weather was perfection. 

Turns out, I absolutely loved Arizona. This could have been the charm of the state, or it could have been the people I was spending my trip with (or combination of both?), but I had so much fun there. Take a weekend. Go. It'll be worth it. *I can really only endorse Mesa because that's the only place I've been*.

Here's a picture so you know I'm not lying.

The semester is almost over and it's crunch time, yet the only thing I can think of right now is how badly I want a banana and a Powerade.. I've been mindlessly writing papers for school all day so I thought I'd finish the night by mindlessly writing a post.

For those of you in school, I hope you can find something to make you smile while you stress about unfinished projects, finals, and all the adult decisions you are having to make. For those of you not in school, I hope you can find something to make you smile too! If you haven't already, you should check out all of these ways to spread joy through service. You can light up your day as you help Light the World. Check it out here.

this absolutely is going to be the highlight of your day

I haven't written since March, but FEAR NOT FRIENDS because I am struggling to return have  officially returned to the blogesphere and have realized that I still have nothing substantial to contribute to the world wide web.

*oh yeah, the title lied*

That's right, folks. Maybe it's writer's block, or maybe it's not (you know, because I don't actually consider myself a writer), but every time I try to blog, my useless mind clocks out and puts Simon and Garfunkel's Cecilia on repeat. 

Anyway, I guess I can talk about how I'm sitting in the library on campus (a building I basically never go into because I've been at this university for 4+ years now and I can officially say I have perfected the do-homework-at-home-as-fast-as-you-can-and-never-go-to-the-library-because-it-is-way-too-far-away-from-my-couch-and-my-fridge). Alas, I am only here trying to do homework because I brought dinner to my boyfriend on campus (he'll literally be on campus from 8am-10pm today) and decided that I should follow his dedicated and studious example. As you can see I'm being incredible successful as I've been blogging the entire time.

Today in class I completely zoned out for about 10 minutes (I was probably listening to Cecilia in my head again) and missed some very important information about some assignments. Thankfully, my besties in the class totally had my back and filled me in on what I missed. Completely saved my skin. They're the best. I decided that if everyone did little things like that the world would be a much brighter and happier place.

On a different, completely unrelated note I guess I might as well talk about how badly I've been wanting a candy bar lately. Sometimes a Snickers or KitKat sounds like the best darn thing a girl could ask for. I'm aware that I am a strong, independent woman who can buy my own candy bar, but I'm restraining myself from stopping in at the corner store because I just spent a large amount of my food budget on more responsible and adult food items such as chicken, vegetables, cheese, and such. So yeah, I'm not saying anybody needs to get me candy or anything, but I'm not saying it's a bad idea.

That's all for now!

choose to be happy--words of encouragement from a person currently trying to refrain from sorrowfully binge-eating ice cream

I have way too much to do right now, so naturally I decided to blog. I'm so predictable.

The past four weeks I've been in a first grade classroom helping out and teaching. My, oh my, has it been an experience. They have taught me so much, and I cannot wait to have a classroom of my own. 

Last semester I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I'm almost done with school, and every other day I was second guessing myself. Do I really want to be a teacher? Do I want to start over with a new class every year of my life?? Am I patient enough? Is it worth it? etc etc etc. I mean, I think every college-twenty-something-year-old goes through this. I bet it happens to older-than-twenty-something-year-olds too! But I can't describe how happy this experience was for me.

I walked into that classroom everyday and couldn't help but feel joy. I loved every minute of it.

Today I was walking the kids in from recess with an enormous goofy smile on my face. I told them, "Smile! You just had lunch and recess!! Aren't you so happy?" And one boy said, "What would I be happy about?" To which I immediately responded, "You don't need a reason to be happy."

You know when somebody says something really profound and there's this little light bulb that figuratively or literally goes off in your head? You know? When you hear something and you have some deep and meaningful thought about life because you are a real human being who has emotions and thinks about those emotions deep and meaningful? Yeah, me too. 

Never had I ever, though, experienced that from something I said. I know that sounds really egocentric, but hear me out. I consider myself a pretty positive person most of the time. But alas, we mere mortals all fall victim to the harsh reality of an unfair world. Everything is going great in life and you're as happy as a marine bivalve mollusk when all of the sudden you get a sunburn (literally), you have four assignments that have to be completed in 24 hours, that boy you are kind of dating decides he just wants to be friends, and your apartment runs out of toilet paper (just icing on the cake right?). Ain't life a witch peach?

Okay, okay, back to the point. As you've probably gathered, this weekend was kind of tough--so when I responded to that little boy with, "You don't need a reason to be happy," it took me by surprise. I don't need a reason to be happy. I can be happy despite boys who "want to date other people" and a red, sunburned face. Happiness can be a choice. Sometimes it's a harder choice/near impossible. But it's a choice I'm going to make. 

*This is when you say, "Yeah! Stick it to the man!" and I say, "Thank you, thank you" [insert gracious wave]*

Also, today at school I was helping a boy with his math and as I was speaking, mid-word, he coughed directly into my mouth. Twice. But I can be happy despite that, too.

Anyway, call me, beep me if you want me. You do you.

"pink?? you're wearing pink??"

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I don't have a Valentine,
Could it be you?

Happy happy Valentine's Day! This is arguably one of the best holidays: right behind Christmas and Thanksgiving. Some people dub it "Single's Awareness Day" and actively hate the Day of Love. pish posh.

Reasons why Valentine's Day is the best.

1. It's a day of love.
.
,
.
Is there another reason needed?

Growing up, Valentine's Day was special. It wasn't about a significant other, it was about the love we feel for our family members and friends. aren't my parents the best?

Every year we cook a special dinner of pork chops and the "fixins". Really, the pork chops are the tradition, then we just made whatever sides we wanted. We got out the best china, and we usually ate by candlelight. The candlelight was mostly a request by my little brother and myself because why not. And it was great! Valentine's Day also meant lots of candy in the house so *wink wink*

I remember my dad getting my mom red roses and my older sister and I white roses. What a sweetie!

Well, Valentine's Day 2016 didn't fail to impress.

Surprise numero uno: This year I did something I hardly ever do. I wore pink. I know right?? I'm as surprised as you are! For those who don't know...I never wear bright colors--and pink is my least favorite color. I tend to enjoy the blues, maroons, grays, and black. I walked downstairs to leave for church and my roommate exclaimed, "PINK???" Before I could turn to change, she complimented me, so I put on a brave face and stepped out of my comfort zone.

Surprise numero dos: I get home from church and see some flowers in our mailbox. Oh, that's nice, I thought, someone got flowers. Lo and behold, they were for me! My older brother took it upon himself to surprise me with a bouquet of daises (he didn't even know they are my favorite flower) and some chocolates. I mean, really. He's the best. Shout out to you, Jordan! You rock.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed Valentine's Day as much as I did! Keep a smile on your face and spread the love!

if i was an animal i would most definitely NOT be a swan.

Did I tell you guys about the time that I "stubbed my toes" on my bathroom doorway? And by stubbing my toes I really mean that I accidentally walked right into the door jamb which resulted in me quite literally kicking it full force. This caused me to fall over--because you know..I ran into the door and thought I broke my toes--and then as luck would have it, my arm hit the doorknob on the way down. There I was, on the ground with broken toes, a broken arm, and a broken ego as my roommates stood over me.

Turns out I didn't break anything. My toes were sore for a couple of days and I had a massive bruise on my arm (it's still there, actually. It's been a week). But it was okay. I'm not saying I would do it again, but it happened because I was distracted by a message from a cute boy. So I guess it was worth it.

If I'm going to continue with the stories of my evident gracefulness.. Yesterday as I was stepping out my car (feeling great, might I add, because I was listening to some rockin' tunes), my knee took on a life of its own. It decided to lunge itself into my car door. I fell down.. again... bruised knee.

In other news, at work today my boss sat my coworker and me down after we finished with our projects. He's always go-go-go, so this was different. Then he pulled out a Rubik's cube. For 30 minutes he taught us how to solve a Rubik's cube. He's the best. He also keeps a fully stocked fridge in the shop for us. Yeah. Be jealous.

Also, I realized today that I am totally neglecting my book blog. I keep reading books, but then I'm too lazy to actually blog about them.

I also realized today that it has been forever since I've had some lemonade. Those closest to me will know that this is a tragedy.

I should fix that.

Yep. That's it for today!

we live on the flippin' frozen tundra

Somebody just asked me the other day for one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. At the time, I couldn't think of one. Now I can. Call me childish, but Penguins of Madagascar is hilarious. A lot of movies make me laugh (basically everything makes me laugh), but I swear that movie makes me laugh out loud every single time. If you haven't seen it, here's the opening clip that contains the title of this post.

I may not actually live on the "flippin' frozen tundra", but it felt like I visited one this weekend!

Anyway. This post contains mostly pictures.

I went ice fishing with some friends this last weekend. This is me laying on the ice in front of a fishing hole. I'll explain later.

This is how we started the day. All prepared and with our tent set up. We were ready. 

Well, we couldn't find many fish, so we decided to jaunt across the lake. No big deal, right?

The lake was bigger than we anticipated. Really, I don't know what we were expecting. It is a lake, for goodness sake. I'm so far behind because I fell down so many times. Surprise, surprise.

This is on the other side of the lake. I'm not entirely sure what is going on here, but I know that I'm sitting. We were all obviously hard at work. 

We stopped for a moment in the middle of the lake on the way back because Maria wanted to take a picture. I'm sitting again.

We had another hour or so when we got back to our side of the lake. 

This is what I was doing (or taking a break from doing to take the picture) in the first picture. We couldn't find fish, so we all got our own hole to look into. A ranger came around to check our licenses and said, "I can tell you guys are different than everyone else." We took it as a compliment.

I love this picture because my hole is really far away from everyone. They probably did it on purpose.

Here are some things I learned from this adventure:

I could fish more often

I should always carry hand warmers and a thermos with hot chocolate with me

I'm apparently a pansy when it comes to touching worms and/or fish

I should really work on not being such a pansy

Time goes really fast when you are with people you can have fun with

For the majority of the day we couldn't feel our toes, but we sure had a blast! 2016 is off to a great start!