"some weird things are happening in my desk"

The life of a teacher is nothing if not exciting. It'll keep you on your toes, that is for sure!

The title is an actual quote from a student. He came up to me one day and said, "Mrs. Rhoton. Some weird things are happening in my desk. First, I left all of my pencils in my desk like a good boy, and then my notebook is torn! Somebody or something is messing up all of my stuff!"

Just take a moment to take that one in.

Now just for fun. I thought I'd share some of my other favorite quotes from the past few years. Some are second graders and some are third graders. Maybe you won't think they're amusing. But most days a student says something that either makes me laugh out loud and I write down right away, or it makes me WANT to laugh out loud but I don't want to be rude so I still write it down right away and I laugh about it later.

Student E: "Student A is bothering me!"
Student A: "Student E is bothering me!"
Student M: "A and E fight a lot. They're enemies."
____

Me - "Where did you get your tattoo?"
Student - "King Boo-Fet"   (he meant King Buffet)
____

"Your hair is crazy today." - Student
"This is just my regular hair. I woke up and it looked like this." - Me
"You should have brushed it and curled it. It would have looked prettier."
"You don't think it's pretty?"
"Not really."
____

Girl - "Can I ask you a question?"
Me - "Of course."
"Why do women have bumps on their chest?"
Me thinking **Um....okay....**
"That's part of the female anatomy. Anatomy means your body. So they are just part of their bodies, like fingers, toes, arms, legs, everything."
"Are their called breasts?"
**This is taking a weird turn
"Yes"
"So women have them to look different than men?"
"Well, there are more purposes for them, but you should ask your mom the rest of your questions about this."
**smiles and walks away quickly**
____

Student 1 'telling a joke': "What do you take off before bed?"
Student 2: "Your pearls."
____

Second grader - "Have you seen Sausage Party?"
**Most definitely have not**
____

"Thank you for the chocolate heart! That's so sweet!" - Me
"It's because my mom forgot about you but my brother didn't want his."
____

Student - "Let's use pennies because they make CENTS"
Me - "Oh that's punny!"
*fistbumps student
____

**Another adult is reading a dinosaur PICTURE book to the class**
"A loud grumbling noise echoed through the valley. A huge animal lumbered through. A long, wide tail sings behind it. It had short arms, but a huge head and big sharp teeth! *gasp* What do we think is coming?? [student A]?"
"A dragon!"
"Not quite.."
____

Student 1 - "It's called skydiving."
Student 2 - "It's called being stupid."
____

"Sometimes I feel sad, but most of the time I feel very happy."
____

Non-Spanish speaking student reading a book in Spanish
Me - "I love that you want to read in another language, but do you think reading in Spanish will help you with your reading skills?"
Student - "I can understand it."
Me - Excitedly says the two sentences I know in Spanish
Student - "...Maybe I should being using English."
____

N - "Guess how many inches I am!"
Me - "52 inches"
N - "OH MY GOSH!! You're a genius!! You should go to the genius class and when people ask what their inches is, you should tell them!"
____

Student - "Idioms suck."
____

*Reading book about elections*
Student 1 - "Who is this?"
Me - "That's our former President, Barack Obama."
Student 2 - "He looks old."
Student 1 - "He must be old! He looks like he was alive when I was 1!"
Me - "That was only 7 years ago."
Student 2 - "He was probably 13 years old then."
Me - "..."
____

Student 1 - "I like to eat all parts of deer. Except the fat. That's gross."
Student 2 - "WHY WOULD YOU EAT A DEER???"
Me - "Lots of people eat deer. It's another animal. People eat beef, which comes from cows. People eat pork and bacon which comes from pigs. People eat chicken. It's a different type of meat."
Student 2 - "Well, you got me there.."