The past four weeks I've been in a first grade classroom helping out and teaching. My, oh my, has it been an experience. They have taught me so much, and I cannot wait to have a classroom of my own.
Last semester I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I'm almost done with school, and every other day I was second guessing myself. Do I really want to be a teacher? Do I want to start over with a new class every year of my life?? Am I patient enough? Is it worth it? etc etc etc. I mean, I think every college-twenty-something-year-old goes through this. I bet it happens to older-than-twenty-something-year-olds too! But I can't describe how happy this experience was for me.
I walked into that classroom everyday and couldn't help but feel joy. I loved every minute of it.
Today I was walking the kids in from recess with an enormous goofy smile on my face. I told them, "Smile! You just had lunch and recess!! Aren't you so happy?" And one boy said, "What would I be happy about?" To which I immediately responded, "You don't need a reason to be happy."
You know when somebody says something really profound and there's this little light bulb that figuratively or literally goes off in your head? You know? When you hear something and you have some deep and meaningful thought about life because you are a real human being who has emotions and thinks about those emotions deep and meaningful? Yeah, me too.
Never had I ever, though, experienced that from something I said. I know that sounds really egocentric, but hear me out. I consider myself a pretty positive person most of the time. But alas, we mere mortals all fall victim to the harsh reality of an unfair world. Everything is going great in life and you're as happy as a marine bivalve mollusk when all of the sudden you get a sunburn (literally), you have four assignments that have to be completed in 24 hours, that boy you are kind of dating decides he just wants to be friends, and your apartment runs out of toilet paper (just icing on the cake right?). Ain't life a witch peach?
Okay, okay, back to the point. As you've probably gathered, this weekend was kind of tough--so when I responded to that little boy with, "You don't need a reason to be happy," it took me by surprise. I don't need a reason to be happy. I can be happy despite boys who "want to date other people" and a red, sunburned face. Happiness can be a choice. Sometimes it's a harder choice/near impossible. But it's a choice I'm going to make.
*This is when you say, "Yeah! Stick it to the man!" and I say, "Thank you, thank you" [insert gracious wave]*
Also, today at school I was helping a boy with his math and as I was speaking, mid-word, he coughed directly into my mouth. Twice. But I can be happy despite that, too.
Anyway, call me, beep me if you want me. You do you.
